Bella Sleepwalking
by Delicious darkness
Summary: Everyone exept Alice and Edward are out hunting... Alice and Bella are having a sleepover. What is happening to Bella? Will the madness end? WARNING: Contains muffins, an octopus and LOTS of ruined fashion-clothes. Collab with M. Cullen Hightopp. One-shot


**Double-AN:** This story is first of all: Filled with randomness, madness and more randomness XD

This story is a collaboration with _M. Cullen Hightopp_ (AKA my BFFE) And you can find the exact same story at her account.

This story is based on an _actual event_ were **[and this is where thy M. Cullen Hightopp takes over explaining! :D Hi, folks!]** Martine **[MEEEEE!] **was sleepwalking. She fell asleep and woke up with burned, wounded, dough-covered hands! **[Ouch, ouch, EWWW!]** Upstairs it was a plate of crappily baked chocolate muffins. **[Yummy! ^,^]**

**[Hey! You aren't believing me! *pouty-face* IT HAPPENED! SERIOUSLY!]**

HAHA! I own Twilight!

**[No, you don't!]**

Yes, I do!

**[Yeeeeeees, and I own Wonderland! *rolls eyes*]**

you do? I wanna own wonerland too ;(

**[One, you wrote Wonderland wrong! Two, well, I wanna own Twilight!]**

oh, so I don`t own Twilight?

**[NO! And I don't own Wonderland... or The Mad hatter... *sniff*]**

well, that sucks!

**[Agreed!]**

but I know something that you do own.

**[And what is that, my dear friend?]**

cake leftovers from yesterdays birthdayparty!

**[We could make this dialouge longer, but that is a very good point! :D Enjoy the story, people! *runs to teh kitchen*]**

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**Bella sleep-walking**

EPOV

We were sitting in the living room – me and Alice.

We were bored. Like, _really_ bored.

Everyone was out hunting, everyone except me, Alice and Bella.

Why I mentioned Bella talking about _hunting_, I had no idea.

She was asleep upstairs – she and Alice were having a sleep-over, and I was sadly not allowed up there. Thank you, Alice!

Alice and I were having a game of cards. For other people, it might look like we're just staring at the table, but we really are playing. Like, really. You just don't see it.

After a couple of minutes, I threw my cards over my shoulder, having no chance at winning.

That was when I heard a certain human at the top of the stairs.

Alice looked at me. "Bella will fall in 3…"

I stood up.

"2…"

I ran towards the bottom of the stairs.

"1…"

Bella was looking… err… confused…. And not quite paying attention to the stairs.

Not that she really ever did, but yeah… She were looking at something in the distance, keeping her eyes on whatever it was as she tripped and fell down the stairs.

In a split second, I was there to catch her.

And that was when I heard her muttering.

"Doughnuts are really practical…. Especially with those cute holes in the middle of them… Do you know that pink penguins can fly, but not the black and white ones? I just met one, you see… He was kinda handsome… maybe I should marry him? What do you think?"

You know it's bad when you're beginning to feel jealous of a pink penguin.

"Riiiiiiight Bella," I said hesitantly – scared, worried, and certainly freaked out. "Come here, love."

I carried her towards the sofa where Alice sat. "No, no, no!" she screamed like a little child. "Kitchen!" She pointed towards the kitchen with a pout on her face.

Who could deny such a cute, beautiful face?

Not me, at least.

When I put her down in a chair in the kitchen, she immediately stood up and stumbled towards the fridge.

_I think she's sleep-walking!_ I heard Alice's thoughts behind me. _We can't wake her up! She'll be in shock!_

There was no way I was going to risk Bella's health just to wake her up. I guess I would just have to bear all this craziness from my love… not hearing what she's thinking…

That truly is frustrating.

_Edward, I can't see what she's deciding to do! _I turned towards Alice, who had a very frustrated look on her face.

_It's not like with the wolves, where it disappears, I just can't see what she's gonna do!_

"What makes you so sure she's deciding anything?" I whispered back to her, turning towards Bella again. Slowly, because I were scared of what I would see.

"Muffin, muffin, muffin, muffin…"

What wouldn't I do to hear her thoughts right now?

Alice was thinking about the same thing.

Suddenly, she stopped right in front of the fridge, sloooowly raising her hand towards the handle.

Her hand stopped there.

We waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

And a little bit more.

She didn't move.

I was worried. **(AN: When is he not? XD)**

About ten minutes later she finally opened the door of the fridge.

Okaaaaaay…..  
"Muffin, muffin I want muffin, It's so much better than pie," she kept on repeating her homemade little song. "I would rather die than to eat some pie, and I want my darling muffin," she sang.

Alice laughed but when she saw the look on my face she stopped and tried to disguise it as coughing. Too bad I could read her thoughts, and they sure were laughing.

Bella took out something from the fridge.

Cheese… Pudding… Lobster…. And an octopus? Ok, I knew we had a lot of food, but… octopus?

She put most of it in a bowl… except the octopus, which she for some mad reason threw at Alice.

I had to hold back the hopping mad pixie, whose outfit was now completely ruined.

When Alice had calmed down enough to stand still and not pounce on Bella, I went back to see what in the world the mentioned human was doing.

Bella was cooking, but the smell coming from the soon to be meal was absolutely horrifying even to human food to be. Suddenly I got a bit worried, thinking about what she actually had put in the bowl.

"Aaaah, finally finished," she said with a heavy French accent.

Alice came down from upstairs apparently she had just changed into a new favorite outfit.  
Bella took the bowl of food away from the stove and sat it at the table in the living-room.

I and Alice sat down next to her thanking god that Bella's strange behavior had stopped for at least a couple of minutes.

Bella put a full spoon of icky-food into her mouth.

She swallowed it, suddenly she turned facing Alice and puked all over her new outfit. And Esme's favorite table. And all over herself.

Alice ran upstairs again, muttering something close to 'just because you don't like clothes, you don't have to ruin all of mine'.

Suddenly she started yelling.

I didn't catch what she was yelling but I was certain that it most likely was really… odd.

She ran into my arms, and I held her carefully, trying not to breath.

She looked me straight in the eye... almost, and my heart broke as I saw her eyes tear up.

"What's wrong, love?" I couldn't bear seeing her in pain, no matter what.

"I just realized I'll never be able to see my biological mother-in-law and tell her my super-secret muffin-recipe…"

That hurt.

A lot.

"Eddie-kinz, are ya' alright, hun? Ya look sorta sad… It was cuz I mentioned Lizzie, wasn't it? I won't do it again, Eddie, I promise!"

She's been around Jasper and his southern accent too much… and overdone it… a lot….

She sniffed the air. "Ewwwwwwwww! Muffins smell bad!"

Alice came down the stairs again, in another new outfit.

"I don't wanna wear these clothes anymore! They're stinky!" In a way, she reminded me of a child in the way she spoke.

Well, until she stood up and began unbuttoning her pajama-shirt.

Then two things happened at once.

I had to use all my will-power to not look right in front of me.

I ended up looked at a fuming little pixie with a shirt over her head. And then she was stomping up the stairs again, still looking VERY angry.

Have you ever thought about how many times that pixie changes clothes in a day?

That was my pathetic attempt to distract myself.

_Wait, isn't this Bella's shirt? _Alice was wondering. _What's Bella wearing then?_

"Not much," I managed to choke out.

_Oh, shit… I'll be down in a second, Edward!_

"Thanks," I took a deep breath… and breathed out again.

I really wanted to turn around. _I'll just turn around for a second! Not more! It won't do any harm! _

I hate it when my thoughts have good arguments.

"Eddie-kinz?" Bella said.

"Yes, honey?" I answered, somehow managing to not look.

"Why did you turn around?" She sounded hurt.

And that was when angel nr. 2 for the day came running down the stairs.

She stopped for a moment, looked down at her new outfit, and then at Bella – quickly looking away – and slooooowly made her way around me and Bella.

_I won't let her ruin _another_ outfit! _Alice growled in her mind.

"Just get some clothes on her already!" I said hysterically desperate.

"Jeez, chill out…" I could just picture Alice rolling her eyes at me. Then she took the nightgown she'd picked out over my angel's head.

I heard a bloodcurdling scream (if I heard correctly, she screamed "ambush", but I can't be sure…) and then the muffled sound as Alice put her hand over Bella's mouth.

"Edward, it's safe to turn around,"

"Thanks, Alice," I turned around just in time to see Alice _carefully_ removing her hand, just to see what Bella would do.

She didn't say anything.

She was just quiet.

And glaring at me, looking slightly hurt.

"And you call yourself a potato!" she blurted out, and then slapped me.

She froze, and whimpered.

"Ouch…" she whispered. "I think I broke my hand…"

"Let's call Carlisle…" I whispered to Alice, slowly, so I wouldn't scare Bella. Alice nodded and went to the phone.

Then Bella looked very tired. She yawned and suddenly collapsed into my arms.

Alice and I just stared at her…

We stayed like that for a while…

And then I could hear Bella's gentle snoring.

I carried her to the sofa.

And then I could hear Carlisle thoughts. _What happened? Alice just said I had to come quickly._

And then the rest followed. Carlisle hadn't told them about his sudden return home, so they were very confused.

They came in at the same time.

Carlisle: "Why did you call?"

Emmett: "What is that smell?"

Esme: "What happened to my table?"

Rosalie: "Why is Bella wearing my nightgown?"

Jasper: "Why do really want your honeymoon to be, like, right now?"

Emmett: "That's the spirit, bro!" :D

BPOV

I woke up. Everyone in the family was looking at me – I was for some reason was lying on the couch.

I was really confused. My last memory was from last night when I went to bed, but the sky outside was dark... Was it still night?

I noticed that I was wearing a nightgown..? I couldn't remember a nightgown, and this nightgown was definitely not mine anyway.

"What, how, when?" I managed to stammer.

"I think she`s awake" Alice said to Edward. Just high enough for my human ears to catch.

_What are they talking about_, I thought.

"Why am I wearing a gown?" I suddenly asked.

"Trust me…" Edward said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You don`t want to know."

THE END… maybe…

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